At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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