"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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