I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
