Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
