I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
