only if we run a train.
done.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
