SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize