I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize