**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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