it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
