do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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