Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I checked into jail on foursquare
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize