Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
