Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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