Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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