We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
