Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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