So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize