Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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