Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
