Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
