i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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