New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
this hospital has no fireball
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
