New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
