if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
