Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hippo gnu deer
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
