think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
