were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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