Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize