last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
