But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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