When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
