hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
