Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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