i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
