never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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