do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
