I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I got her a Nickelback box set.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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