Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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