It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
