Taylor Swift is so right about you.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
