where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
porn star boner night. come get it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
