I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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