I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
