Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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