Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Even my vagina gasped.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I supernannyed him into submission
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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