was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
