): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
why is half of my head shaved?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
