i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Let's paint friendship bongs
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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