My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
