i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
