And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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