1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
