i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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